I called a friend recently and suggested that we meet up for coffee. He seemed a little reluctant at first, and finally confessed that he was worried he might appear in the blog!
I had to do some fast talking to convince him that I only used my anonymous friends to make a point, and usually I was very complimentary about their achievements – “That’s the problem” he said, “I haven’t got any!”
When we did finally get together, I realised this was not the enthusiastic go-getter I had once known; this friend was lost in a miasma of doom and gloom. He feared he was going to loose his job, he was worried about paying the mortgage, and he rejected my positive attitude as a “waste of time, I am too old to make such major changes in my life”
Such an attitude is not uncommon, and indeed we face uncertain times, but I felt that he was focussing on the wrong things. He was worried that he might loose his job – but he overlooked the fact he still had a job, he was still able to pay the mortgage and these were positive things that were already in place.
If we go to work each day convinced that inevitably we are going to loose our job, what impact that does that have on our performance. It is often said that what we concentrate on, what our thoughts focus and dwell on will ultimately be realised in our life. Perhaps it is because our thought direct actions that will lead to the feared conclusion.
Focus is a fabulous fact – it can be the dynamic conviction that leads to success. Remember the story about the Tortoise and the Hare? On the surface the odds were all in the Hare’s favour. He was known to be lightening fast; he had past performances to demonstrate his ability. The Tortoise, on the other hand, was well known to be slow.
But what was the outcome? The Hare failed to focus on the goal and lost the race. The Tortoise was slow but steady and with strong focus on the ultimate aim finished first.
Focus is where you place your attention; it an awareness and it is a strong clarity of our purpose. Focus – followed by action – is the catalyst for success. But sometimes we are not even aware of what it is we are focussing our thoughts on; because it is often done unconsciously.
But if we are unconsciously focused on “not eating chocolate” it will be the one thing we crave; if we are worrying about the “inevitable breakdown of our relationship” it will inevitably fail.
We can change our unconscious negative focus to a more positive one – and reap the rewards. My friend was dubious but he did say that he was fed up with feeling desperate and miserable, and yes, he did have a job and he would concentrate on doing that to the very best of his ability. I didn’t point out that he had just changed his focus, but of course he had.
I caught up with him last week and he seemed much happier; the economic outlook had not improved for his company, but now he is focused on a positive outcome he tells me he has found a number of small ways of improving efficiency which his boss appreciates. While this cannot guarantee certain employment he now is a much more valuable employee.
When I said, “Your story would be a good subject for the blog” he laughed and agreed – so here it is!
And what did he learn? He claimed that focussing on the positive side of life opens up opportunities to make positive choices and changes.
The results in your life are the outcome of those things that you have focused on. So the question I ask you is “What are you focussing on right now?”
Michele @ Trischel